What Does Motherhood Mean to You?

Motherhood. What does it mean?

I’m not a fan of loaded questions, so let’s break it down a bit further. Motherhood is an experience, and no one’s experience is the same. I think a better question would be, “what does motherhood mean TO YOU?”

Of course, we can only speak for ourselves when answering this question, but to me, motherhood is so many things – good, bad, and ugly – wrapped up into one beautiful, messy ball. I imagine this ball to be a wad of crumpled up paper with all kinds of junk in it. Just hear me out…

Everyone’s messy motherhood ball looks different, no two are alike. I imagine the crumpled-up paper of my motherhood ball to be colorful gift wrap from my child’s birthday gifts wadded up and carelessly discarded in a corner.  Maybe it’s got some dust bunnies or cobwebs stuck to it from rolling under a neglected chair or couch – because who actually cleans under there?

Maybe your motherhood ball is made of construction paper or your child’s artwork that came home from school. Maybe it’s covered in Disney Band-Aids to represent the boo boos and the pain that you and yours have overcome. Maybe it’s wrapped in tight rubber bands, representing the support from your village. Maybe there are no rubber bands, no village – just a little bit of scotch tape trying to hold the paper together so the ball doesn’t fall apart. 

Your motherhood ball is always growing – getting bigger and bigger as life goes on – filled with more and more tape, crumpled paper, band aids, beautiful colors, glitter, dirt, and hopefully at least a few rubber bands. At first glance, it's nothing pretty to look at. But when you look closely and mentally dissect every good and bad memory that the contents of your motherhood ball represent, it’s absolutely magnificent. It’s unique, and no one else has one just like it.

Because motherhood is such a unique experience, we have to be true to ourselves and be confident in our decisions as moms. We are all dealt different hands and given different tools to face life’s ups and downs. What Nancy does down the street to treat her child for ADHD may not be what Cindy chooses to do. The people are different, the experience is different, the support is different…it’s all different. So, mind your own motherhood, be humble, and remember everyone has a different motherhood ball. Might look dog-ugly to you, but it’s beautiful to them.

I urge you to take a mental look at your motherhood ball and think about what motherhood means to you. So, what’s in your motherhood ball…and what does it all represent? The possibilities are truly endless.

I’ll go first.

My motherhood ball has glitter and dried up slime residue, because my girls love to make slime and it’s all over my house. It’s got tears of happiness, sadness, laughter, and painful boo-boos. Don’t forget the sound clips of me mumbling curse words under my breath when I have to repeat myself for the millionth time. There’s dried mud that my son tracked through the house after he’s been hunting for turtles and snakes immediately after a heavy rain. Sweat from wrestling with an angry toddler to get them buckled into their car seat when it’s 95 degrees outside. Soapy bath water from giggly splashing siblings at bathtime. Bits of popcorn and candy from the last family movie night. The list goes on.

So, to find out what motherhood means to us, we kind of need to take a step back and imagine what our own motherhood ball looks like. What’s it made of? Is it colorful? Sparkly? Is it held together by tape? Or glue? When you imagine what it looks like…does it make you smile? If not, does it motivate you to make changes to it? Part of the beauty of this whole motherhood thing is that we actually have control over it, and over time we can mold this thing into what we want it to be.

You might think I’m a little coo-coo for cocoa puffs at this point – and that’s fine, I’ll own that. But what’s motherhood without a little self-reflection dipped in weirdness? I mean, how many times have you said something to your kid(s) and thought to yourself, “wtf – never thought those words would ever need to come out of my mouth.” Yeah, it’s all weird. Just embrace it.

I want to wrap this up by saying if your motherhood ball is barely held together by some measly scotch tape, seek support. Reach out to other moms, friends or family, neighbors, etc. – because you are not alone, and I bet you have more people willing to help than you realize. Remember that this motherhood experience is yours, and you are in control. When you find support and ways to prioritize your own well-being, you are gifting yourself the opportunity to feel joy and peace when you pause to take a mental glance at your motherhood ball.

So, let’s do motherhood how WE want to do it. Express your mama pride and be confident in yourself as a mother so we can support and inspire other moms to do the same. Go get it, mamas. 😉